This production is made possible by the generous support of the Mike Schmitz Automotive Group.

Mike Schmitz Auto Group, dot.com.

Foster Coalition unites local foster care advocates into effective collaborative communities.

You will see that when foster parents are called equipped and supported, they can become fulfilled serving foster children for a lifetime.

Foster parents are often the children's only source of having love security and value.

Hello, I'm Nancy Buckner, commissioner of the Alabama Department of Human Resources.

In Alabama, approximately 5800 children and youth are in foster care.

Over 70% of them will return to their parents or relatives when it is safe to do so.

In the meantime, they need safe, nurturing and loving homes to live, along with support from caring adults.

That is where foster parents come in throughout our state.

Foster parents graciously open their homes and their hearts to these vulnerable children and youth, lifting them up with love and support.

These extraordinary men and women provide a listening ear as children cope with trauma.

They give encouragement as children pursue their goals and their dreams.

And most importantly, they offer the love and stability that some children and youth have never experienced.

Foster parents are truly our unsung heroes in this documentary.

You will meet some of them as you hear their stories.

I encourage you to consider how you could make a difference in the lives of these children and youth.

Please contact your County Department of Human Resources to learn more.

I hope you enjoy this documentary about the very important role of foster parents in Alabama.

Thank you.

We have three daughters ages 12, ten and six and a little boy, and he's two.

We got first in foster care.

We tried to build our family for about eight years and we were unable to, naturally.

And so we moved to alternate routes and we started looking at adoption, doing our research, and started taking classes with our local teacher, which at the time was in Collin County.

We went through the classes and we just did a lot of soul searching and we realized, you know, there is a group of kids that are more than likely not going to hit that reunification mark and that I don't need some place to go.

And that's where we came in with our two older girls.

And in the midst of us, them coming to our house and us adopting them, they actually had a little sister born, which is Ana, our six year old.

And so we was able to start fostering Ana into our home even after we was adopted, their two older sisters.

So we started the process of adopting her, which took a very long time due to COVID.

But in that process, we got lucky.

And we also got to get her little brother, which we have, that made our four.

So I was able to get him through that process, which was great.

I mean, it's great having another one around.

It's great trying to keep the siblings together.

That's not always something that can happen through foster care.

So we've we've tried to do that the best we could.

So our kids, they are very active in their life.

We stay and sleep busy with everything that we do.

I've got.

So we have three girls, right?

And we have the little boy little boys, too.

So he's not really into much.

But we had our oldest daughter.

She's been part of volleyball recently.

Choir recently.

In the past it's been gymnastics.

Peyton Dance.

Dance, softball.

Softball.

Correct.

Currently, we have our two middle children, Kenzie and Anna.

They're both in softball, so that keeps us busy.

About three or four nights a week.

Both of them love being out and about and active and what they do.

Getting to meet friends.

And that that's the biggest.

That's when we started doing it is because the kids needed an outlet to start making relationships and setting down roots and feeling like things were going their way.

So I've put them in a situation where they have friends that they have to interact with.

It's been wonderful for them and they need that outlet outside of the home to, you know, encourage things like making friends.

Being a part of community and being a good Samaritan and doing good things.

Because a lot of that is taught through sports and or extracurricular, just school, you know, they get a lot more by doing it more.

And we're fortunate enough to be able to let them do that.

The my very best day would be the day that we met all of our kids on the day that we first met.

Our two oldest, Kenzie and Cheryl, you know, I remember going upstairs and after we got the meeting with Dunn, with the social workers and the birth parents and all that stuff, we went upstairs and I remember seeing Kinsey, three years old, little short, curly hair, pudgy little face hair.

Just talking about that this morning and seeing Michelle, you know, trying to be brave, you know.

But she was still a five year old little kid.

And I remember asking him, you wanna look at pictures on my phone?

Yeah.

You know?

And so that was like the instant bond, you know, because you show up your phone and just, you know, take them out to, I think we went to Stacy's pizza and went to a house.

Yeah.

Those are days you don't forget.

Don't forget the first time you meet your kids.

Absolutely.

I would imagine it's a lot like having a child.

You're never going to forget the moment that you make that connection.

You know, I remember being in that jumpy house come around the corner and Kinsey's eyes got this big and he was like, Now she's actually she's released whatever baggage she was carrying when I first met her.

And now she's actually having joyful fun like a three year old child should have.

It was a it was life changing.

It's like it's changed our life.

So that was my best day.

So we adopted our first little girls.

We decided that, you know, this was just miracle and magical and it was just going to make it.

And the biggest and best.

So mainly, daddy spent way too much money.

Anyway, we went to Disney World and so we wanted to do the whole thing and do it up right.

And so we got to stay in the aerial room and we got to visit Cinderella's Castle.

So why wasn't Cinderella Castle to eat?

They do a little performance and they give the kids little ones.

And so they're telling, you know, the kids that were going to be in poverty.

And then Santa, I forget what it was, but make something appear to be poverty.

Something, something.

And then something happened.

Okay.

So Kinsey her she was for her four year old self decided that that was the most magical thing that ever happened and that she now had possessed the power.

It's a very good mother.

So we were waiting after after the park closes.

You know, we're we're waiting to go back to our resort.

And the bus lines are just long.

They're just so long and so, so long that we're not even getting on the first bus.

Next bus that comes.

That's not even gonna be us.

We're gonna be so far behind.

So we're sitting there and mom tired, and all the kids are laying in models, laugh, and.

And I was like, Man, I wish you would hurry up.

And Kinsey's like, I know what to do.

And she stands up and she raises that little one and she makes a big announcement.

Oh, yeah, that's a big deal.

She's Bibbidi bobbidi, and she's like, I'm gonna get these busses right now.

And the worst or best thing that could have possibly happened two busses from our resort.

Showed up Turn the corner.

I mean, as soon as she did that.

And so here I am as a dad, I'm like, I've got two ways to go.

I can be like, Maybe I'm so proud of you.

And we go, that, or we're like, Well, that was a coincidence.

Hey, we're on a magical vacation.

We're absolutely going to just lean into this magic.

Oh, my gosh.

It's so great.

It's so great.

Fast forward to the next part day.

We're at a different park, similar situation into the night.

Busses lined up our busses and come and we're there for a while.

Kinsey once again pulls this wand.

I don't know where I'm going to do it, and I'm going to do it.

And she's just Bibbidi bobbidi, her heart out.

I mean, out and there again, as a dad, I mean, you're you're setting you've got that choice.

Do I tell her that it's going to be okay?

You know, baby, to me okay.

Or do I do what this dad does and go, Kinsey, what happened?

Why are you not getting busses to us today?

What happened to your magic?

And so anyway, we laugh about that.

Now, Kinsey thinks that is hysterical, that she believes so much in that one.

If you're looking to love a child, it doesn't take a long time to figure out that those those kids are part of what's missing in what you, your life, what you need.

So, no, it didn't take very long at all.

Not for me.

No, I don't think it did for me either.

It was you know, you kind of knew you kind of knew that you knew you kind of had what you wanted.

You could see a future.

You could see a life with you.

You know, you can envision the the family vacations, the the Disney trip, the the beach vacation, you know, the soccer practice, you know, the playing dress up.

Well, the best way to get involved with foster care is to contact your local agency, your local DA agency.

Every county has them.

And there's also other areas within the state that deal with the foster system.

But there are actually qualified or classified as they are.

You go through a ten week course which I think it's called tips now, and it used to be called GPS back then.

We did it a thousand years ago.

So that class puts you in a room with a bunch of other potential foster parents.

So you're going to be talking and going to get to know a lot of people that are have the same passion and the same heart that you have.

Some are there to strictly foster, which is amazing.

You have to be an amazing person to do that.

And some are there to try to pick up a maybe a family member that they need.

So you get to really hear a lot more about their story and the beautiful thing about fostering is it's not just the kids that have a story.

It's all these people that have a story.

You know, you see somebody out in town that's fostering somebody know that they went through a lot to make that happen in their life, a lot to help, someone said.

A lot of sacrifice.

And then only going to those classes is just the tip.

Little bitty, tiny bit of the iceberg because you really have to have an emotional drive to take children into your home.

And more hard.

The harder part of that is not taking them in, it's releasing them back to a good situation.

So it's takes a special person and there are a lot of people I meet in my day to day life that talk about I want to be a foster parent, I want to be a foster parent.

And I say Go for it.

But I also say make sure that's what you want to do.

Make sure you understand what you're getting yourself into because that those children need somebody that understands what's going on.

And so if you if you can do that, I would highly recommend it.

And I do recommend that to other people.

You get to where it if you can't take kids in your house, then what you can do is you can still invest in those children by making friends with foster parents.

Absolutely.

Because the foster parents need help.

A lot of them are not you know, they're not really raising normal children for for instance, they've come from hard places.

Maybe they have more than what a normal person might normally have in their home because their their hearts are bigger than maybe their stomach.

And if that makes sense.

But so go make friends with those people.

Help them, you know, find good things to do with them and that kind of thing.

There's a lot of things you can do to invest into a foster child without becoming an actual foster parent.

If if that's not what your what your heart desires, if somebody come to me that I did not know and ask me about foster care, I would tell them to make sure it's something they want to do in their heart.

Because if you invest and get involved in the child's life and you don't follow through, it's going to create more pain for that child.

And I know that's not what you're thinking when you say, I want to sign up for foster care.

So so please think that through that child has been through more than enough, they need everyone to be all in.

That can be all.

And so don't don't halfway.

It be there all in for the child.

And that means the hard stuff, too.

It's a wonderful thing.

It's going to change your life.

It's going to make those memories that you're never going to forget.

And you're going to have people that you do not know come up to you and tell you you're an amazing person that you will not feel like, because it's can be hard, but at the same time, when you look back and you see the life changing that you do for that young person.

Yeah, that's a it's worth everything.

Worth everything.

It potentially puts them on a whole new trajectory that otherwise they wouldn't have been on right.

You're injecting good.

You're being a bridge of compassion until their current situation can be better.

And that's the goal.

The goal is to get back to their actual mother, father, family member that can take care of them.

And you can be a bridge that injects something wonderful into their life that they'll never forget.

My journey in foster care really began when an opportunity opened up for me to become a youth pastor at a little church in Cottonwood, Alabama.

And then that we began to see the need.

We were overwhelmed with the amount of children that were coming to our youth group that really had no home.

One of the girls I just found a love for her that I can't really explain.

And so I eventually ended up moving her in with us.

It was so strange when I really started because we weren't actually a foster family.

My parents lived in Dothan our whole life and then all of a sudden they were like, We're going to Cottonwood, a very small town, super strange.

And we had this girl that my parents fell in love with and they were like bringing her home.

I was like, okay, I was reluctant, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

And I'm so glad that I did.

I'm so glad that I did it.

It just opened up a door blessing and a door of life that we didn't know existed.

We saw an opportunity there.

They all challenged.

We had more people get involved with what we were doing and give us ideas like you you need to start fostering.

So we started through the actual trainings at DHR are going through what was then GPS classes to become foster parents.

Honestly, at that point, not really to become foster parents, but to figure out how we could maybe unlearn what we had obviously not learned through that process.

We ended up saying yes to 11 foster placements.

The first kid we had in our home, she calls us.

That's on our anniversary.

We arrived around me in April, didn't have anything to do.

We're trying to figure out what we're going to do.

We get a phone call.

DHR says we got a two year old Can ya'll, take him in our very first kid.

We go get him and it starts right there.

He was so dirty from being where he was living.

We get him home and get him bathed, find out he's got blond hair and I fell in love with it right there.

So I get emotional over this, but that's where I learned.

I got to give my whole heart to this.

And he was they were situations where he had circumstances where he was taken out of our home and there's a lot of hurt there.

But I knew when I decided that we're going to foster I'm I'm going to give my whole heart to this thing so that that's really where it began with us.

And we've had several children in our home until we finally adopted Olivia and Aniya with our very last foster placement.

Maddie was nine.

The foster then at that time was eight, and she had a half sibling that was three months old.

And having now in the household, an eight and a nine year old was pretty significant.

So suddenly it was almost like having twins.

However, as most people know, that children from a hard place come with lots of hard things.

So even though they were eight and nine, it was almost more like they were four and nine chronologically.

You know, those things just sit in a line.

So there were a lot of things that Maddie had to learn a lot of grace for very quickly to understand with Olivia and how to meet her challenges and help meet her needs and be able to love her well.

So she she got to learn how to grow her heart through that process.

I was eight years old whenever I came to this family.

They're very encouraging.

If I have any questions, I can go to them without any expectations.

They're very fun to hang out with and just I just love being here at this family.

So Olivia is sweet but crazy.

Dustin is rambunctious, crazy and rough.

A Jacob is talented with music and he's like, he's gentle.

Maddie is gentle, sweet, rambunctious and clean.

I will say that my dad, he is he's sweet.

He is crazy a little bit.

He likes to dance and.

Yeah, and then my mom, she's sweet.

like my dad a little bit.

She likes to dance.

I love them a lot.

They are really encouraging It is very fun.

She's crazy sometimes because she is only ten, but I love her.

What she's.

She's very sweet to be around.

My favorite hobbies is probably art and granny.

Gotcha ya day is a day.

Whenever me and and I came into the foster family in July 16th of 2012.

So Gotcha Day is now Peach Day.

How it changed is that mom was like, I don't think it should be called Gotcha Day.

I think it should be called Peach Day because peaches are sour and swe And yes sour and sweet emotions on this day.

Having biological children as well as foster children creates for like most families, it creates a blended family.

So you have different dynamics going on among the children.

When the kids leave, there's grief and loss.

That's excellent because it helps, you know, your your biological children understand how to deal with grief and loss and how to cope with those things.

But also, you're dealing with grief and loss and it doesn't always end well.

And it sometimes it can end in some real heartache and some real sad moments.

But then there's also redemption on the other side of that.

And they see where those kids are going and how their lives are going to be changed in other situations and whether that be returned back to biological parents or or even into another adoptive placement.

You know, they got to see that experience having foster care, siblings, I wish I could say that it was super easy.

Some days were a challenge.

It was definitely strange bringing in kids that you didn't know just into your home.

I think growing up home is what is safe and so then you're bringing in these kids and you don't really know their background.

We're we're far from being perfect.

We have our bad days.

We have our good days.

They're all worth it.

They're all worth it.

Learning to love them was definitely tough because you don't know where they've been and they have a lot of trauma, so they're not going to just immediately open up to you.

So a lot of dying to self dying to your wants and your selfish desires of what the biological.

I shouldn't have my parents full attention quickly becomes something that you don't live in and it's I'm going to choose one of these kids right where they're at, along with my parents, because it's not about me.

Nothing in this world is about me.

I don't live for me.

Early in our journey, I was introduced to a book called Empowered to Connect, and I learned the power of Connection.

And I really learned that whenever you meet the needs of a child that you build trust and in meeting those needs, building trust happens.

And so nurture and care for the child and our our attachments to them and their attachments to us have been so much more natural in that particular arena.

Whenever you can really stop and pause and understand and meet the need of a child, they begin to understand love and belonging.

They trust you and you won't have the behavior issues.

I mean, I truly believe there's not a child, one who cannot be nurtured into loving belonging, just knowing you're changing someone's life, you're changing the destiny of their life.

We all have a plan for our lives.

And if parents can come in and intercept one of these foster children and maybe adopt or maybe just have them for a year or two to plant seeds, to love on them, to show them love and to speak words of encouragement into them and just a teacher to teach them how to cook and teach them how to cut grass.

Teach them how to grab a hammer and a nail that changes a kid's life forever.

It's the small things.

It's the small things.

There's a commercial that I hear sometimes that talks about needing foster parents, and it says, All you got to do in the morning is get up, go to work and be yourself.

And love on those kids has what it takes.

It's not as hard as it seems, and it's really nothing to be afraid of.

The foster placements have changed our lives in ways that I probably that I hope to get to write in a book one day.

They have sculpted the way that we see humanity.

They have changed our hearts for the better, honestly, because we learn how to serve others better, love others better, and die our own flesh and desires.

You learn how to meet the needs of others before your own and prefer others.

And I mean that just that's what we're supposed to do in this world, right?

Just sitting around and talking on a regular day after work after school and just sharing our day.

One of the things we do a lot is we had what was the favorite part of your day?

Especially when we're sitting around the dinner table at night, we ask, What was your favorite part of your day?

And so that's just that's amazing.

Around the holidays with this family can be busy because we are a big family like Thanksgiving.

We have everyone here and we're all in the kitchen cooking through the years.

We would go to Disney World for like surprise vacations, my birthday and stuff like that.

We've gone to Disney quite a bit and just as a family together, it's fun.

Lord, we thank you for this family.

We thank you for this food.

Many years ago, I would have never saw myself working with foster kids and adopting, never thought of it.

But now we're totally sold out to it.

I'm getting on up in the age of 56, about 57.

The desire is still there to to maybe continue in this because when I hear of a kid doesn't have a home that breaks my heart or you hear of people aging out in the system, that breaks my heart with nowhere to go, no no family to turn to in a time of need.

That's heartbreaking.

Absolutely.

I see myself opening my home one day to fostering, and it's made such a huge impact on my life.

I see the spirit of adoption differently.

I will absolutely open up my home in whatever way I can, whether that's opening my home or finding a way to pour myself into the foster care world.

Because it's there's such a need for it and it's so neglected.

So, yeah, I know it's changed these kids lives that we've adopted now.

And Olivia, it has changed me tremendously, too.

The Bible talks about being discipled, you know, learning to give yourself away.

You have to do that every day unless you have to do it in any way.

You really have to do this.

And you're fostering and adopting and just learning to give your life away and be a servant instead of being served.

Be a servant and love all loving on them.

When you don't feel like love, giving yourself away has been the biggest challenge to me.

But it's been it's been good for me.

So how we started on the journey to become foster parents is, you know, after going through the journey of infertility and not being able to conceive.

And I think once we can determine that, you know, it probably wasn't in the work for and that that spear my grandparents they're deceased now but they were foster parents for years.

And I grew up with a lot of those foster children.

And so you just have a kind of heart for them and, you know, because of the situations they came from, I mean, that's what it's all about.

There's been a provider, a home, you know, and love and love and support.

I mean, all the things that kids need and, you know, they don't deserve to be.

And unfortunately, you have so many kids are in situations that they didn't ask to be in those situations.

It's not their fault, you know, and just being able to be a blessing to them and to help them.

And that's all I need.

You just need someone to open a door in their hearts.

So we go, we were going to foster and then we we found out that we get Foster to adopt.

So we made that like an announcement.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which was, which was cool.

And we were really excited as we, you know, continued as we got closer to, you know, officially, you know, being licensed, you know.

And then once we got licensed, it was like and we really hit the ground.

So the children we've had so far, we've had well, Violet is our second baby.

Our first baby we brought home from the hospital.

We kept him for, I guess, too much or something like three months, two or three months.

And then then we got Violet a few months later.

We took a break after that because it's a life.

It's a lot because you get you get so used to him or her.

And so your heart kind of breaks when they have to move.

And then you have to start all over again.

But then it is still rewarding.

Yeah, but we've had two, two babies so far.

I would say the adoption day was that was so cool.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

That was a lot of fun that we were able to just kind of, you, you know, culminate everything and be able to say, oh, everything she does efficiently.

And then seeing that paperwork showing and, you know, her name and she's got our last name and I was pretty good and we to take pictures and of course, our both our parents were there, you know, and and my sister was there.

And then, of course, our son, Peyton, it was just great.

It was just a celebration and it was a lot of fun.

So very, very grateful.

Well, we got Violet.

Oh, she was five months old.

She knew nothing.

She only wanted someone to hold and and make sure she was happy and and that's what we that's what we wanted her to know, that somebody, you know, in her family in Ohio, they still love her.

We know that.

We talked to her, her real grandparents, you know, at least several times a month.

So they love her, but they couldn't, you know, you know, keep or whatever.

But oh, she was she needed someone to be there for her.

And that's what we that's what that's all they want is someone to be there for them.

So that's what we that's what we that's what both foster parents are for.

We enjoy fostering and foster care and, you know, people.

And when I tell people that, you know, we got Violet through the foster care system and like I say, they're just so impressed and they just go, wow, it takes a special person, you know, to do it.

I mean, I agree.

You know, because not everybody can't do it.

But we do encourage a lot of people to, you know, we really try to be zealous advocates for foster care because of our experience and and with my grandparents being foster parents for years, I mean, we're talking about 30 plus years.

They were foster parents back in, you know, seventies and eighties.

So we were lucky to have a social worker.

And the caseworker this caseworker, I guess I can say that we're kind of looked at as like heroes in a sense.

Like it were like, you know, when we first announced that we were, you know, adopting anyone, everybody found out they would everybody would just just so impressed.

And it was kind of overwhelming the response that we got, which was great.

And this is like, you know, we kind of expected that, you know, but you don't do it for that.

You do it because it's in your heart, seniors, because it is the right thing to do.

We felt like we were called, oh, my God, you know, to do it, even though it didn't work out for us to conceive naturally, this was the next best, next, best option.

And we're just grateful we were able to adopt Violet, that we were able to, you know, connect with her and get get, you know, she got putting our lives and there and I sure let her go.

No, we didn't.

And we're not.

So she's she's she's the Ingram family.

Oh, what's that?

What is that?

Well, our life has changed.

Just, I mean, for the better.

I mean, she pretty much completes us, you know, it's it's almost like mission accomplished, so to speak.

And I say that tongue in cheek, but at the end of the day, we're not done.

I don't think I think we've talked about because there's just so many children that need a loving home.

Again, you know, we're doing our best to, you know, doing our part.

And of course, this fulfilled a goal for us to be able to to adopt.

And we do that through fostering.

But even if we didn't adopt another child, the foster care system definitely fostering will still, you know, continue to be something that we want to do.

And I just I think it just helps out.

It helps our community out, helps to children.

I mean, it's just I mean, it's a cycle, but it's a cycle.

I think that's important.

And I think more people need to, you know, to be involved.

But it's it's just been great for us.

I mean, she she completes our family, you know, from, you know, my my parents and her parents.

They're just so in love with her, you know, there's just so thrilled and they're happy for us, too, you know, which is which is the great change our life daily because we we had to like dealing with with every day situations and, you know, getting her to daycare and getting her this is really all about Violet is not about us and she's definitely the straw that stirs to drink.

And so it's no more us.

It's her is Violet.

Absolutely.

But it's great.

It keeps us kind of on our toes.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah.

And it's.

I think it's up to our our marriage to grow, too, you know, because we we've got to one, you know, you know, it's two and a half year old.

It's reliant on us for everythin at the level she needs it.

So it's just been a wonderful been fantastic.

Our parents are are in love with Violet.

Violet has every well she has three Christmases.

She has a Christmas here.

She has a Christmas in Florida.

She has a Christmas in Foster's.

And we buy her sort some things and then they go beyond it's crazy now but they've they've enjoyed they they feel as if we've had Violet.

Oh they treat her just like everybody else.

I think the will at my parents have been changed to Violet Ingr his mom and dad keep violet and she doesn't want to come home with it with because they've had so she's had so much fun with them.

Yeah so they have taken her as if she she is just Ingram and love her just like to as if she's a family member.

Yeah.

You know, she, they're, they're, they love, they love her to death.

Yeah.

They're an important part of your journey as well with us.

I mean if they were there when we were going through all the challenges and I mean they've been there the whole time, their support and it's just just been wonderful.

So, you know, she's two and a half to two, two years and five months out of it anyway.

So the other day her her director said, oh, guess what, Mrs Ingram Violet has been moved out.

She's in the third.

The three year old girl at the preschool class now.

So Violet loves to read she loves to go to to do letters and number counting and we bought her a little IPAD that she does educational work things so she loves to learn so she when they told us I was like oh I'm excited like you know she's moved up and in her class.

So we were excited about that.

Yeah.

So as soon as we get through getting used to Violet and she gets a little older, we, and we get a bigger house.

So right now we were only able to have one baby at a time, but because we only have a three bedroom, so hopefully we'll get a bigger house and we're ready because we enjoy it.

It was a great experience to love a baby.

Look, we want 0 to 2.

That was our that was our.

You can pick the age range that you want to foster.

And we picked 0 to 2 from oh, what would I say for families that want to be foster parents?

I would say do it.

Oh, it's a great experience.

It's hard, but the end result is that you're helping yourself, not just helping the child because you you learn to love and you learn to be patient.

You learn to be advocates for yourself and your children and your child.

Children, even if you want to have your own baby, you can still foster because it's a good experience.

I mean, you know, even just do it and see how it is.

A class is a lot.

It's a lot of work.

But the end result you you'll love, you'll love fostering.

We love it.

I can't wait to retire so I can do full time if he will.

If he will let me.

Several years ago I actually went to an interest meeting and I met some people there and as I was starting to leave, the director came to me and said, I have a child for you that needs you.

And I kind of laughed and said, But I don't have any training.

I haven't done anything.

She said, You're a teacher, though, right?

And I told her I was.

And she said, Well, as a teacher, we can emergency this situation and put him in your home and then get you the training you need.

And he actually went to that was going to the school where I taught and I knew his siblings and they were desperate because he was going to have to move out of the county and they didn't want him to do that.

We don't want him to lose.

He was playing sports and he was involved in a lot of things.

So I kept talking to my husband and finally we said, okay, let's try it for a weekend.

And of course, once he came in our home, we knew he was going to be a part of our family.

And so he ended up moving here.

We thought it was going to be about six months as usual with foster care.

It ended up being about 18 months.

On a really happy note, he's ended up being adopted by another family.

We weren't in a position that we could do that, but we did.

We were able to just love on him for that 18 months and it had a huge impact on our family.

We began to realize this was something we could do and during that time they were able to come into our home and train us.

We couldn't go to the trainings.

We were too busy, had too many kids going here and there, but our local foster care came in and did the training so that we were able to keep him.

And then after he left, we took about six months off and then they called and it was the same story.

We have these two kids, they need you.

And it turned out that was true and it turned out that we needed them, too.

When we first took the two we have now in, there were a lot of needs and they had a lot of baggage when they came to us.

There were a lot of struggles and they weren't sure really what what their status was going to be, how long they would be with us.

But and they were very afraid, very nervous, obviously, and they struggled a lot.

And we struggled knowing what to do.

Were we doing the right thing, our first five are much older.

Our youngest is 18 and so we kind of thought we were through with that phase of life.

So it's been so neat to get to do that again and see and just be a part of that and let our kids be a part of that.

When I was raising or helping my wife raise our children, I didn't feel like I had to be involved in as often as I do with the foster children because they need more assurance, they need more support, more stability than my children did.

It's it's not the same, but it's good when we watch them tick off those milestones, you know, learn to read, learn to feel accepted, step on that stage, do things, and to walk into a crowd of children and feel confident and comfortable.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I know they have changed.

I know they have grown.

They're more social.

They can interact with different situations better than they they could when they got here.

They feel secure to play by themselves, to play with others, to go places without us, to be without us.

And I know they've changed, but I know I've changed probably more.

Our house is full and it's good.

That's what we want.

We enjoy having the house full and we enjoy living on them.

And when they wrap their arms around my neck at the end of the day and, you know, put their head in my hair and just want to be close and snuggle and they feel safe.

Is it's a pretty good feeling.

The more you are With these little kids.

They're just awesome.

The more you love them and now it's just an amazing thing to see that happen to you.

Good.

One of the things that helps overcome trauma, the more people a child has in their corner, the more they feel that support, the more they have adults cheering for them, the more they're likely to overcome that.

And we've seen that so much in these kids.

When the oldest one stood on stage and led the Pledge of Allegiance for his whole school in front of probably 800 people, articulated every word correctly, was very proud to do it, was not looked around, knew he was loved, supported, waved at us and smiled and, you know, kind of cheered for himself.

But I think the thing that led to that and something that maybe not a lot of people realize is that he has a whole a humongous support system.

We go to a large church where a lot of people love on him, and those same people kind of bleed over into the school where he is.

He has a kindergarten teacher who loves on him every day, who understands his situation, understands our situation, takes the time to pour into him.

She does that.

He has lots of other teachers in the school because of different situations of the way he was raised and things.

He has a lot of extra teachers and every one of them is doing that constantly and they cheer for him and they they love on him.

And then of course, in our family we have five older kids and they cheer too, and they show up and they encourage consistency is is key in this relationship.

Something as simple as taking a walk in our neighborhood means a great deal to both of them.

During the shutdown, COVID and they were home from school.

My was home and fortunately I was able to work every day and I would come home and meet me at the door.

Daddy, I want to go for a walk and we would take 20, 30 minutes, go for a walk, would look for bugs, would see bats, would see birds, and they really enjoyed that.

And it's good to see them do things that are ordinary that you take for granted that they enjoy and and somehow you kind of think, well, they're different than your biological children, but they're not.

They have different needs, but they're the same people.

We had seen them prosper when they know exactly what to expect.

It's been such a beautiful thing.

When they came here, they had not had a lot of exposure to people or activities and they were afraid and they had a right to be all the things that happened in foster care.

And we see this not just here in our home, but we see it in all of the families that we are friends with who have foster kids.

We see the same thing.

And when they have consistency, they begin to blossom.

That's what gives them security to see them change because they were loved and cared for and provided for and they knew that tomorrow they would have what they needed rather than wonder if they would have what they needed to to eat what they needed, you know, just someone to love them.

Someone would be there for them.

I think one thing that you hear all the time is you can never love other children the way you love your own biological children.

And having five kids, you would think, okay, I've had enough of that.

Not true at all.

You can certainly love a child that's not born to you as much as you can love one that's born to you.

You can and they can be as much of a part of that family.

It's incredible to see that.

There came a time when I started thinking about them in the same terms as my own children, and it hit me one day, Wow, I love these kids, right?

One of my favorite things is when I come home from work and they run and jump and hug me.

We have gone many places, amusement parks, and they're just amazed at all the things like a small child should be.

And I think even more than my own children, of my own biological children, because they were never exposed to that.

And I think they never expected to be exposed to some of this.

And it's just been really good.

I took my boy foster boy fishing not too long ago and he's been fishing before, but this was just him and me and we went to a pond that was easy to get to and there was lots of fish and we just can't fish as many as we wanted.

And I taught him how to put a worm on a hook, kind of throw it in, how to catch it real it in and try to take it off himself and the first time he did that, he looked at me, he said, Daddy, I love you.

And I said, Sign, this is good.

This is real good.

I do remember how it felt, though, when I realized that they saw us as parents pretty quickly because their speech was challenging.

They picked up on what our kids called us, and so they would sometimes say, mom or dad, maybe on accident, maybe just because they didn't know what else to call us.

But when I hear them say something like, you know, I'll always say, Oh, you're the best six year old I know.

And sometimes they'll say, You're the best mom we know.

And it's pretty to hear and know that.

But they definitely are connected here.

They know this is home every day.

Sometimes they will ask questions about is this, is this?

What about when I have to go away?

And I love being able to say, you never have to go away.

This is home.

This is where you belong.

My daughter has said many times, mostly to my wife, that she wants a baby sister, a little sister, and now she has one now that tell you the the dynamic between her being 18 and and my foster daughter being that far right now is incredible.

It's great to see her teach her how to do makeup and talk on the phone, how to read, how to destroy a bedroom has been really good.

It has made my daughter more like a woman.

She has really grown one of the greatest blessings God has given us is family and this is just really enforced.

His wisdom in my life.

How amazing our God is to invent something so great as family.

I've seen obviously from a child's perspective, me looking at my parents and how, you know, I feel about them.

But now that as a father, you know, you you understand when you say, oh, god, I messed up again, that's the hundredth time this week, you know, you expect him to say it's okay, son.

And you get that same perspective when you look at this child and they've messed up 100 times this week and you can say, like, my father in heaven understands me, I can now understand them.

And seeing this change in my life has made me love God even more, love my wife more, I love my family more.

So I think I'm a much better man than I was when we first started.

So what I would say to any prospective foster parent is it's not like raising your own kids.

It's not going to be you can't predict what it's going to be like.

You can't imagine what you're going to go through or what they're going to need until the time comes.

But it is doable and it is a blessing.

And to be a part of watching a kid create dreams like they have dreams of what they want to be when they grow up.

Our little girl wants to be a teacher and our little boy, he loves the idea of being a hunter.

But maybe he'll have another job too.

I guess what I'm hoping for.

And.

But he's wanted to be a fireman and he's wanted to be a policeman, and he's wanted to be a construction worker, whatever he sees.

But what we've given them is a chance to have dreams and to be able to reach those dreams.

One of my favorite times every night I pray both of them separately, and each time I reinforce the fact that they're part of our family.

I thank God for all my children individually.

My parents, Candy's parents and I put their name in that list every time, and I just want them to know that they are here to stay.

They're ours, and that we love them no differently than we love any other of our children.

And the little girl, Ella.

I always end when I walk out of the room and say, I love you.

It's just amazing to hear her say, I love you too, Daddy.

Before I got into it, I guess I had heard stories about people who felt alone and like they were, you know, fostering or adopting was hard.

But we've not experienced that for one moment.

We've never felt that we were alone.

From the workers at DHR to the Foster Parents Association, to our family, to our church family has just been incredible how they invest in our kids.

So, yeah, it's definitely doable.

God tells you to.

Taking care of widows and orphans is probably the best thing you can do on this earth.

I would also tell you that if you were to ask me whether or not I should you should.

FOSTER Yeah.

Kids need you desperately need you just where you are.

You don't have to change.

You don't have to put on a better outfit or live in a better home or have a better job.

They just need someone to love them and Anyone can love them.

There's a tremendous need for foster parents and partners.

Foster Coalition is uniting government agencies, local foster organizations and the church to help these children.

Please consider joining us to make a difference in the life of a child.

Visit our website.

This production is made possible by the generous support of the Mike Schmitz Automotive Group.

Mike Schmitz Auto Group DOT COM.