VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts!

Yes, a good weight.

(SNIFFS) And it smells.

- (HORN HONKS) - VO: Oop, steady!

Behind the wheel of a classic car.

Good morning, my lady.

Good morning, Parker.

And a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

- Whoopsie!

- Come on!

The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

- (GASPS) - But it's no mean feat.

- (LAUGHS) - There'll be worthy winners... - (CHEERS) - ..and valiant losers.

(SOBS) Will it be the high road to glory...

It's about winning.

- ..or the low road to disaster?

- Whoa!

Pothole!

This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Ha-ha!

Ah, there's nothing like the open road!

And this is nothing like the open road.

- (THUD) - Oh!

Ouch!

- I'm so sorry... - We... ..little red car!

Have we left half our exhaust in the road?

Oh!

I just want to stroke your bonnet right now.

VO: Behind the wheel of the 1978 MGB is first time Road Tripper, auctioneer Izzie Balmer... ..Chauffeuring veteran antiques expert James Braxton on another tour of the provinces, hunting down priceless antiques - for a bob or two.

- Are you a hard haggler?

- No.

Not at all.

- I think... - I'm far too nice.

I think you need to find your inner Herod.

- My... Do you?

- Yeah.

VO: Oh no!

Blessed are the meek.

Izzie and James are taking the B roads through England's eastern counties, meandering west and then north before a final auction showdown in Lincoln.

JAMES: I never look at the price tag.

I always think what I'd like to pay for it.

- Mm-hm.

- Within, you know, the test of reasonableness.

You know, I'm not going to offer a fiver... - Sure.

- ..for something worth £75, I'm going to offer eight, obviously!

(SHE CHUCKLES) - But not as much as 10!

- (HE CHUCKLES) No!

Don't... Don't be ridiculous!

VO: Old skinflint!

Izzie's initial £200 dwindled last time, and she sets out with £187.12 in her piggy.

James, meanwhile, was on a winning streak and fattened up his porker to the tune of £231.26.

JAMES: Anyway... Izzie, now I've spent a bit of time with you, I think you've got a very cheery and happy personality and...

Which is, which is announced by these giggles the whole time... (LAUGHS) I'll have to try and contain myself.

- Wow!

- You make me feel curmudgeonly.

I don't even know what that means!

VO: That's "grumpy old goat£ to you and me!

- Northamptonshire.

- Yeah.

I believe it's the shire of cobblers and shoes and leather goods.

Blessed is the cheesemaker and the cobbler.

Is that a saying?

Yeah, well, it is now.

- (THUD) - Oh!

Hello... Oh, this road is really...

I know.

Blessed will be the car mechanic soon.

I think maybe we're just about to lose our bottom.

(VO CHUCKLES) With auction looming in Leicestershire, they're both dragging their derrieres to Brackley this morning.

The town was designated an official site for jousting in the reign of Richard the Lionheart.

But hopefully the spirit of mortal combat will give way to a rather friendlier rivalry at the first shop of the day, Brackley Antiques Cellar.

(SHE LAUGHS) James, James!

- I...

Sometimes I... - Do you need a hand?

- Sometimes, sometimes I... - Shall I run round?

- Some... - Let me help you, sir!

Sometimes I wonder how I actually got into this car.

VO: I was wondering that too!

- Off we go... - So, into the dungeons.

VO: This huge place is home to 200 dealers, so our pair are really spoiled for choice.

And your time starts... now!

It's just right up my street, all this gorgeous silver and jewelry.

It's quirky, it's unusual.

I really want, I want...

I'm like a child in a sweet shop.

I just want to dive in and grab it all, unless there's glass in the way!

Which is probably a good thing, preventing me from doing it.

VO: She's being reeled in by those shiny things.

So I've just spotted this Victorian lava cameo brooch.

The Victorians really loved their lava jewelry.

And the detail that has gone into carving this woman's head.

And she's got sort of what appears to be an acorn leaf in her hair.

And it can be used as a symbol of... loyalty, of...

I suppose like, you know, an oak tree is there forever, they're ancient.

They're old and they're stable.

It's really beautiful.

It's £100.

VO: £100?

I mean, I'm talking myself into it now.

I'm talking myself into buying this!

What am I doing?

I can't afford £100.

VO: No, you can't.

IZZIE: Oh!

Oh, why do I have such expensive tastes?

VO: It's a curse!

IZZIE: Jim, hi!

- Hello, Izzie.

- Hello, hello, hello!

Um, I've spotted this lovely lava cameo brooch.

It's marked at £100, but I was wondering if there was any negotiation with that.

Yep.

Yeah, the best we could do that for you would be £70.

- £70.

- Yeah.

Half my budget, almost.

Wow!

It is beautiful.

(GROANS) I need to, I need to be decisive.

I'm just gonna... - Yeah.

- I said this morning I was going to go with my gut, and I...

I really like it.

To me, there's something so tactile about it.

- So, yes please.

£70.

- Smashing.

Thank you very much.

- Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

VO: That's made a fair dent in her budget.

But she seems pleased.

Now, is James any nearer spending some money?

I like these tables.

Erm... Chinese, hardwood.

Give it the Braxton weight test.

Yes, a good weight.

Hardwood is... Is considerably heavier than a softwood like pine.

And why Chinese?

Well, it's got a sort of stylized peach.

The Chinese gods, the immortals, used to eat peaches.

And peaches are supposed to confer longevity, so long life, on people.

So that's rather nice.

£55.

Now... that's not a bad price, £55.

Debs, I think I've found something.

I like this item.

I'm gonna be cheeky.

It's 55 - how about 35?

Is that possible?

Well, I know the dealer would do 40.

But... - That's standard.

- Yeah.

Can I... Can I push you?

35?

- OK, then.

- You're sure?

- Yes.

- Thank you.

I wonder how many times it's changed hands.

Exactly.

Look nice with a nice glass of red on there, - wouldn't it?

Yeah.

- I know, well... VO: She can read him like a book!

I think it's no stranger to it.

- No.

- Look at the stains on the top.

VO: Cheers!

Surely time for a nice lunch, eh, James?

Izzie has apparently grown roots among all that lovely silver.

Is she going to make another purchase?

Could do.

I like this.

It's a silver jam spoon, but really I think you could use it for anything.

You could use it as a caddy spoon.

It's very, very tactile, and it's a very simple design.

And what really appeals to me are two things - it's Danish, so anything Scandinavian at the moment is really on trend.

And that sort of mid-20th-century design is so, so fashionable.

And it's commanding some strong, strong prices at auction.

I've also just thought to myself - imagine the size of jam you'd serve to yourself with this.

I mean, that is a serious portion of jam.

VO: I say!

Mm.

Chocolate spread, peanut butter, the two together.

Um... VO: Oh, steady on, girl!

I think...

I probably need to have a little word with Jim about this one.

- Hello, Izzie.

- Hi!

What do you think?

Lovely.

Danish spoon.

It's marked up at £40.

Yeah, the best we could do on that would be 30.

- £30?

- Yeah.

- I mean... - I think that's a bargain.

Well, you WOULD think - it's a bargain!

- Yeah, it is though.

It's lovely, isn't it?

Erm, that would be really super.

Yes, please.

- Yeah, good.

Thank you!

- Thank you very much.

VO: Pockets £100 lighter, it's time for the off.

Meanwhile, James is headed half an hour east, to Great Holm in Milton Keynes and to the headquarters of an organization devoted to a game which was a latecomer to the Olympics, only becoming an official medal sport in 1992, but which has a longer and very English past - badminton.

- Hello.

James.

- Geoff.

Good to meet you, Geoff.

VO: National Badminton Museum secretary Geoff Hinder is on hand to take up the story.

My word, I don't remember rackets looking like that when I played.

How old are they?

GEOFF: They're from the 17th century.

They're battledores, actually, those there.

And battledore and shuttlecock is what the game of badminton evolved from.

- OK. - Two people hit the shuttle backwards and forwards to one another and counted the number of times they could keep it in the air.

It wasn't a very competitive game and... - Right.

- ..quite a boring game really.

- Yeah.

- These were games that were mainly played in country stately homes.

OK. VO: A popular pastime of the leisured classes, battledore and shuttlecock was also evidently very suitable for ladies.

Jane Austen records that she played the game with her nephew, and that they frequently kept the shuttlecock up three times.

And, once or twice, six!

The game is said to have taken a leap forward at Badminton House on the Duke of Beaufort's Gloucestershire estate.

We believe, in 1863, that the children of the duke there strung some string across the North Hall.

And instead of hitting the shuttle backwards and forwards to one another, they started hitting the shuttle over the string and hitting it downwards, more competitively.

VO: The shuttlecock originated in the Far East, and is believed to have arrived in Britain via colonial India.

The museum houses a rare collection.

Um, that shuttlecock there is the eldest.

This is a battledore shuttlecock.

What's that?

Circa 1850.

And then this cabinet goes up to what?

Most recent... - To date, yes.

- To date.

- Yes.

- And funny enough, the design really hasn't changed, has it?

No, not very much.

Yeah, they're quite robust, considering they travel at a hundred and something miles an hour, yes.

- Really?

- Yeah.

100 miles an hour.

The name "badminton" stuck as the game developed.

Clubs emerged and an association was formed, standardizing rules, court sizes and net placement.

And in Guildford in 1898, the first open tournament was held.

GEOFF: And this was such a success that the Badminton Association decided to run their own tournament in 1899.

And this was the start of the All England Badminton Championships.

JAMES: And from these early successes of national open competitions, when did it start evolving into an international affair?

GEOFF: In the 1930s, it spread to Europe, North America, Canada.

And particularly in the Far East, in Malaysia, Indonesia.

Where is the modern game?

Is there a great hub now in the modern game?

Yes, in the Far East, it's very big.

It's like a national sport in Malaysia and Indonesia.

And it's over 100 million people playing badminton in China alone.

- 100 million badminton players?

- Yes.

I did play a bit of badminton.

My mother used to play a lot of badminton.

Any chance of a game down there?

I'm sure we can arrange a game for you.

(LAUGHS) I don't know if I fancy my chances... but I'm going to give it my best.

VO: Ha.

To the changing room with him, then!

Bandana, eh?

Cool... on Johnny Depp!

Tom, Greg and Max are rising stars of the game, with high hopes for the Olympics in Tokyo.

I didn't realize you played at such a fast speed.

(LAUGHS) Could you... Could you turn it down, boys?

VO: Ha, they're good!

Look, nice rally.

(VO GUFFAWS) Well, I'm definitely leaving the badminton to you lot.

I'm going to go back to a rather ancient pace of antiques.

JAMES: Bye!

VO: Remember to shower.

And cool as a cucumber, here's our leading lady, looking like Gina Lollobrigida behind that wheel.

Buona sera, Mrs Campbell!

She's not off to Rome but she is off to Harpole, home of All Saints, a beautiful church with some Norman parts dating back to the 12th century, and the delightful and quaint Inglenook Antiques.

- Hi!

- Hello!

It's nice to meet you, I'm Pam.

Nice to meet you, Pam!

I'm Tony, and how are you?

I'm very well, thank you.

How are you?

- You're looking very well.

- Oh, thank you!

(LAUGHS) You're gonna embarrass me.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: No prizes for guessing what Tony and Pam specialize in.

They also specialize in marriage.

Look at that.

Oh!

Look at that.

"I'm so pleased to know that you are celebrating "your diamond wedding anniversary.

"I send my congratulations and best wishes."

- (CHUCKLES) - From Her Majesty...

I mean, it really is quite an achievement, isn't it?

60 years of marriage.

- (CLOCK CHIMES) - Yes, yes.

60 years of putting up with him, Pam?

- Yeah.

- And his terrible jokes.

- Yes.

- Takes some doing, doesn't it?

(THEY CHUCKLE) That's really fabulous.

VO: It really is!

IZZIE: Hmm.

VO: But time to turn your attention to the wares of this bijou but packed emporium.

This is a... early-20th-century purse, and quite often actually... Well, you can get them in different sizes, but they're not usually as long as this.

And they're known as chainmail purses or mesh purses.

And often, they're made out... Ooh!

(LAUGHS) Oh dear!

I am so sorry.

Throwing your items about.

VO: Thank goodness they've put their picture of the Queen away!

At least it wasn't glass!

(LAUGHS) VO: Quite.

It's of that era.

It's of, like, that sort of Titanic period, isn't it?

- Yes.

- Where they went to all these glamorous parties and they'd have this little purse here, and they'd have...

They'd be changing - a million times a day for... - Indeed.

- Breakfast outfit... - Yeah.

..your riding outfit, your afternoon tea outfit, your... - Yeah.

- ..evening dinner dress.

And I wonder what fun whoever this owner was had with this.

That's nice.

Now, it doesn't have a price on it, which to me means it's free.

- But... - (THEY CHUCKLE) I can see Tony hiding in the corner there, being like "no chance!"

- Yeah.

- Em, Pam... Well, I did have £23 on it.

OK. We'll pop that to one side and have a little think.

VO: You never know what else might appeal.

These are nice, Pam.

Yes, they're lovely, aren't they?

Yeah.

Two little Vaseline glass salts.

They're very pretty.

And they're Vaseline glass because of the color and the shimmer, aren't they?

- Yes.

- Do you think they could almost be uranium glass as well, because of the bright yellow towards the base?

Possibly.

VO: Huh.

Depleted uranium was a popular means of coloring glass in the 19th and early 20th centuries.

Its radioactivity can be measured with a Geiger counter.

IZZIE: Uranium glass is really popular and can command some really strong prices.

They're a nice pair, they're...

They're not in bad condition at all.

There's a few little chips, but they're...

I mean, again, they're over 100 years old, so... - Yeah.

- I'd probably have a few little chips if I was over 100 years old.

- Pam, they're marked at £23.

- Yes.

Is there any wiggle room on that?

Er... yes, possibly.

Yes, we could do possibly 18.

OK. And I also didn't ask you what the maneuver... - Yeah.

- ..might be on this one.

- Similar price.

- OK. - Yeah.

- OK. - 30, the pair?

- For the pair?

- Mm.

- I think that seems very fair!

VO: I should say so.

Thank you very much.

- Right.

You're welcome.

- You've got yourself a deal.

Good work, Miss Balmer.

Collect your passenger and be off with you.

Nighty-night.

The sun doesn't have its hat on, but the car sure does!

And the wet Bedfordshire weather hasn't dampened Izzie's spirits.

She's chuffed to bits with the evening bag she bought yesterday.

I was just having another look at it last night.

It says 935 and then I think a sort of slightly rubbed sterling, and then there's a very rubbed maker's mark here.

So, it is a silver coin purse.

- Yes.

- And are they cabochon stones?

Well, yes, and I suspect they might be sapphires.

VO: She does like her jewels, doesn't she?

I think maybe if you have a really terrible day today, I'm back in the game.

Well, d... No, you can't hope that your opponent is feeling off form, because now, having this chat has refreshed me.

I've had a very good night's sleep to refresh me, and I'm going to be out there and Herod is going to be envious of my cruelty.

(LAUGHS) - Fired me, fired me... - You're upping the game!

Fired me!

VO: Don't get the old boy overexcited, Izzie!

He nearly gave himself a hernia yesterday over a Chinese table.

Give it the Braxton weight test.

Yes, a good weight.

And he starts today with £196.26... ..while Izzie shelled out for a very expensive lava brooch.

Oh, why do I have such expensive tastes?

I don't know, love.

But with that silver evening bag, a preserve spoon and the salt cellars, she has only £57 and 12 pennies left to spend today.

Now, is that a stomach I hear grumbling?

JAMES: I've missed the full English.

Do we say "full English" in Northamptonshire?

- I think so.

- Full English.

Er, so, I'm rather peckish.

Well, you know what, James?

Funnily enough, I had a feeling that we might be needing some sustenance... - Excellent.

- ..and I have baked a cake.

- No!

- Yes, I have.

- You little miracle.

- (LAUGHS) VO: Is there no end to her talents?

Well, it's a Swedish cake.

It's called kladdkaka.

Kladdkaka?

VO: I'm liking the sound of kladdkaka.

It translates as "Swedish mud cake".

VO: That doesn't sound so good.

That looks very oozing.

I haven't got any pl...

I haven't got any China plates, - any porcelain plates.

- That's alright.

We're going to have to slum it.

- (SHE CHUCKLES) - Nice brown crust.

Mm, that is very good, Izzie.

What a lovely light touch you have.

(SHE GIGGLES) Thank you, James.

Lovely.

VO: Save a bit for me, eh?

Ha!

Fueled with sugar, Izzie should be full of energy for her first shop of the day at Castle Ashby, where she can take shelter in the charming Eggshell Gallery.

Owner John is manning the counter today amongst a fine collection of clocks and sundry curios.

Can't really see anything.

Oh, there's some light.

Antiques ahoy!

Right, time to spend a penny.

(MELODY CHIMES) I almost want to start dancing and swaying.

(LAUGHS) It's beautiful!

DEALER: Nothing electric - it's all mechanical.

So... IZZIE: And you can just see it all working.

DEALER: Yeah.

So you can see the governor - that's your mainspring.

And this just goes round underneath here.

There is a set of combs, which is the notes.

- OK. - So as disk goes past, it plucks the note.

It's so clever, isn't it?

VO: If I had £10,000, I'd buy you one.

Or keep it myself.

Ha-ha!

Best look elsewhere.

Meanwhile, James's first port of call today is at Willington, where he'll be treasure hunting at Time After Time, presided over by owner Rob.

And with an eclectic mix of antiques and collectables, there must be something here for Andy Capp.

(VO CHUCKLES) This is a rather charming table.

Walnut, late Victorian.

It's got some damage.

It's obviously had a pot plant on there.

Something my wife does is put a pot plant on it and then water it weekly, and that's... That's... that's where the veneer starts lifting.

Rather interesting sort of twin legs here.

And then, typically late Victorian - you've got these funny pendants hanging down.

Remember, no surface should be unadorned in the Victorian world.

The whole thing is lifted by this checkerboard top.

So it makes it practical.

It's not just a lamp table, it's not just an occasional table.

This is a games table.

It's quite a nice item.

What... What's the price on it?

85.

Where's Rob?

He has a kindly face I think... - Hi, James.

- Do you?

Right, what can we do for you?

Ah, easy tiger.

We haven't done the deal yet.

I like this table.

It was a bit of bin diving from a skip, was it?

Oh, at my age?

I must say, I find it very difficult without a step ladder getting over the sides now.

Oh, I need a forklift these days!

Tc Now, if I said to you 45 for it... 60.

- 60?

- 60.

I tell you what, I'll give you 50.

Can we put a five in there?

Ah, 45 we can do.

55.

Fif... Oh, steady!

Steady.

Now, Rob, if I gave you 52, would you chuck in the domino set?

- That's a deal.

- OK, thank you.

VO: He is the gamesmeister!

Ha-ha!

Meanwhile, back at the Eggshell Gallery, has Izzie spotted anything for less than 10 grand?

The item that did the best for me at auction, and the one I loved the most, was my chair.

And I've spotted another chair.

This one is a little bit different because it's a child's chair, and it's about almost 100 years later.

So this one's Edwardian.

And what I really love about this one is you've got this fabulous inlay here of this almost comical humorous woman.

Um, I don't... Is she by a river?

She's possibly going to collect water.

So it's a really beautiful item, and it's got some love and some age and some care to it.

And I'm almost wondering if I should stick with my chair theme and have a word with John about this one.

It's got £95 on it, so again, I keep looking at items that are too expensive for me.

But you never know - I might have a stroke of luck.

VO: Or a miracle.

She has but £57.12 left though, remember.

So knowing how much you've got, if I said to you I can do the chair for £50, that would leave you £5 for a cup of tea and a sandwich.

Aw!

That would be amazing.

- How does that sound?

- That... That would be so perfect.

Come here.

- Thank you.

- Thank you so much!

VO: Lunch definitely beckons.

Surely the Braxton stomach must be growling away by now?

But it seems he's still on the hunt in Willington.

JAMES: This is a lovely little sort of ale flask.

As to its rarity, the fact that it's got its original cork is rather nice.

The fact that it has a very clear maker's label on it, and the fact that it's very small.

You know, this is...

This is made over 100 years ago.

- Rob, come on... - Yes, James?

Quite like this little item.

Has no price, so that's obviously free.

- Very nice.

- It's really sweet, isn't it?

- Little miniature.

- Little miniature Doulton.

- I think original cork.

- Yeah.

Now, er... Could that be £2, chief?

That could be.

VO: Really?!

Put it there.

- Thanks very much.

- Thank you.

VO: £54 and two purchases under his belt.

But there's probably still time for a fine two-course lunch, maybe.

Bon appetit!

Izzie is southward bound now and turning the clock back to the dark days of the Second World War, at a place of top-secret operations in the fight against fascism.

This was a story the Official Secrets Act silenced for decades.

Shining a light for her today is the historian at Bletchley Park Trust, David Kenyon.

DAVID: During the war, Bletchley Park was the home of Britain's codebreaking effort.

Our enemies - the Germans, the Italians, the Japanese - were all communicating using wireless, using radio messages.

Those messages were typically sent encoded, because obviously anyone can listen to a radio message.

So the work the people here, their job was to figure out how those codes worked and hopefully to read the messages.

So who were the people doing the work?

The people were what were described at the time as "men and women of the professor type".

A lot of them were recruited from Oxford and Cambridge.

They were very bright - linguists, mathematical scholars, people like that.

But having only a few people doesn't really work.

As the war gets bigger and bigger, you need more people.

So by the end of the war, it's nearly 10,000.

VO: The most famous name to have emerged from this hotbed of intercepting enemy intelligence is mathematician Dr Alan Turing, who cracked the Germans' Enigma code.

The problem you have with Enigma in particular is, the Germans changed the settings on the machine, the way the machine's set up, every 24 hours.

Every single day, they had to re-break the code?

Essentially, yes.

And it's not just one code.

Each group of enemy troops is using its own settings on the machine.

So on any one day, there might be 60 different sets of settings to break.

VO: Alan Turing and Gordon Welchman developed a machine called the bombe, a machine which decoded all messages sent by the Enigma machines.

By the time you get to D-Day, to the Normandy invasion of 1944, Enigma alone is producing 5,000 messages a day.

And on the 6th of June, Bletchley is breaking some of those messages within as little as three hours.

Some of those messages are being read by the British commanders before the German commanders they were sent to.

VO: It was a huge operation, and 75% of the staff were women.

DAVID: In total, they built about 200 bombe machines.

And they were all staffed by female Royal Navy personnel, by Wrens.

And so by the end of the war, there were about 2,500 Wrens just running the bombe machines alone.

As war raged across the globe and the forces of fascism were fought on land and sea and in the air, the war on enemy intelligence ratcheted up when the Nazis developed an even mightier communications weapon than Enigma to challenge the brains of Bletchley Park.

Phil Hayes of the National Museum of Computing at Bletchley Park takes up the story of Lorenz.

Lorenz was a much more complicated machine than Enigma.

And it was for the German high command's messages, their reports going to and from Hitler, that the Lorenz machine was used.

Bill Tutte was the man who came up with an algorithm to decipher messages from Lorenz, which changed its code after every transmission.

It's the biggest intellectual feat of the Second World War.

He worked out the complete architecture of this unknown machine.

VO: With engineering by the GPO, Tutte successfully developed machines to decipher the encrypted messages.

It's basically the Lorenz machine built out of telephone equipment.

And there it is - it works exactly the same as the Lorenz.

It doesn't look like a Lorenz, but it does exactly the same thing.

And the culmination of Bill Tutte's work in the automation of codebreaking came in 1944 with Colossus, a machine believed to be the first step in the creation of computing as we know it today.

Without Bill Tutte's algorithm, it would take in excess of 760,000 million years to go through all those combinations.

But Bill Tutte's algorithm - that would shorten that down to something like about three to four hours.

That is absolutely incredible, isn't it?

- It is.

- Three to four hours.

VO: The work of Bill Tutte and the Bletchley code breakers played a key role in the defeat of the Axis powers.

Did the Germans know what was going on here?

They never actually figured out what was going on at Bletchley Park.

That Bletchley Park was a...

They never knew the code and ciphers corps was here, no.

And the other thing they never appreciated was just how successful the organization was.

The fact that Bletchley could read messages from Hitler himself, they never...

They never knew that.

At the end of the war, the British government was very keen to keep all of the code-breaking work secret.

Because the Cold War, the contest with the Russians, began almost straightaway.

And it was only about 30 years later, in the mid-1970s, that stuff started to leak out.

And amazingly, a lot of the people - all those 10,000 people who worked here...

Many of them had been still keeping the secret for 30 years.

And we have veterans now who are in their 90s but they still refuse to talk about it.

So it's a constant journey of discovery.

So we still don't know it all?

We still don't know it all, by any means.

VO: Well, our antiques know-it-all is off on a strictly declassified mission now in Dunstable - ha-ha!

- where he's off to rummage at Timeless Interiors on the High Street.

Is this treasure trove of antique, vintage and retro what might fit the bill?

Spooky.

Now here's something that's caught my eye.

So we've got a duck, it's a paper clip.

We've got some very nice glass-bead eyes.

Got some nice painted decoration, you know, this fabulous yellow beak.

And you'd probably clip bills or outstanding letters, or something... Something you had to reply to.

You only have to use it to know it's been very well made, the fact that the spring is totally intact.

It's probably about 150 years old.

I can feel real pressure on my thumb now.

What have we got on it?

55.

55.

I'll have to have a word with Peter.

Well, he's at his desk.

But carry on looking.

It's a rule.

It's calibrated with inches.

So in imperial measure.

Very unusual.

It's six foot.

I'm six foot.

I've obviously grown.

Maybe it's the heels.

Erm, and then this, this very old fellow.

I don't know what this is.

What does it say?

This is three foot.

But...

But why cylindrical?

Peter, can you tell me about these two fellows?

- Come in here.

- Yeah, I'll tell you what I know.

I believe this is... is for measuring materials, a draper's rule.

- A draper's rule?

- Yeah.

- So cylindrical.

- Cylindrical, yeah.

So just...

So it could easily be picked up.

- Cos a flat thing on a... - Yes.

Cos they work on big tables, don't they?

- Big tables.

- Cutting yard.

So that would be really easy to pick up, - wouldn't it?

- It would.

It's easy to take off of a table.

And this one, why six foot?

Have you ever seen a six-foot rule?

I've... No, I haven't seen a six-foot rule.

No, I don't know what it was used for.

Now, I notice they're both unpriced.

- Yeah.

- Do you know... What could they be, Peter?

What could they be?

I could probably do this for...

Think low.

- ..12.

- 12.

And what about...?

That's half the size, chief.

Yes, that is.

I could probably do that for five.

£17 - it's a deal.

- Lovely, thank you very much.

- Thank you very much indeed.

Just leave them there, yeah.

I'll leave them there.

There's one other thing I've seen... - OK. - ..which I want... - It's in your cabinet.

- Show me.

- Where did you find that?

- I found this on a market.

- In a market?

- Mm-hm.

Is this one of your real special places?

This is one of the places where I go, yeah.

OK, keep it quiet, Peter.

Don't... Don't tell the viewer.

- OK. - (LAUGHS) VO: Spoilsport.

And people like birds.

- I like birds.

- They do, yeah.

There's, er, many people that would like this.

- Yeah.

- That is... That is a lovely item.

Alright, stop... - Alright, Peter.

- Yeah.

As far as I'm concerned, it's damaged, OK?

- Yeah.

(LAUGHS) Ah!

55 on that.

- Yeah.

- Would you take 30?

- I can't do 30.

- You can't do 30?

No.

No.

What can you do, Peter?

(SIGHS) I would say the best I can do on that is 40.

£40.

I'll give you 40, Peter.

Thank you very much.

VO: Is that looking at me?

Quack-quack!

And that total of £57 for those quirky curios wraps it up for James today.

All that remains is for him to gather Izzie back up under his wing.

Next stop, Market Harborough.

Lovely.

I think it's gloriously close to Melton Mowbray.

I think it might be, yes.

Home of the pork pie.

We will get our pork pie - at some point.

- Excellent.

VO: That's breakfast sorted, then.

After some shuteye.

"Improve the time."

Discuss.

This lovely sundial is in our final destination, this time the Leicestershire town of Market Harborough.

The Old Grammar School was built in 1614 on wooden stilts, accommodating the butter market on the ground floor.

But it's not dairy products being traded today at Gildings Auctioneers.

Auction day.

- Second one.

- Yes.

Second one.

What do we need, Izzie?

- We need profits.

- We need profits.

- Lots of profits.

- Let's be profit focused.

VO: One would expect no less.

Izzie all but cleaned herself out, spending £180 on five lots...

These are rather fun.

We've got a pair of salts.

Um, uranium glass, pressed glass.

There was a lovely chap who used to go around the antiques fairs at Dettling in Ardingly, and he used to have a Geiger counter.

And if anything beeped, he bought it.

(LAUGHS) This is really a story of the past.

At £15, profit.

..while James parted with £146 on his five lots.

So I know this is really mean, but this table makes me extremely happy, because James has bought a very tired, in need of repair, games table.

And he's paid £52 for it, which is just ridiculous, in my mind.

- Ouch!

- £35... VO: Our auctioneer today is Will Gilding.

What does he think?

The arts-and-crafts chair - it's got that little bit of extra embellishment with the inlay on the back rail.

And with the original rush seating, it's standing a good chance of doing well.

I think it's attracted a good bit of presale interest.

My favorite item in today's sale is the postal clip in the shape of a mallard's head.

It's got the novelty side, it's got good-quality inner casting.

So yeah, I expect that to do... To do well.

VO: To your seats, one and all.

Time to get this show on the road.

How exciting.

Very exciting.

VO: Well, it might be jam tomorrow, but let's see how Izzie's Danish preserve spoon does today.

20, two, five, eight.

30, two.

35.

£35...

It's motoring.

At £35, it's here.

In the room at £35.

- 38.

40.

- 38.

42, 45, 48.

(SIGHS HAPPILY) I can sit up straight now.

- That's good.

- 60.

- 60.

- Lady's bid, 60.

60!

Do it, do it, do it.

70.

- Yes, do it!

- Returning bidder at 70.

Do you think I can influence them?

80.

At £80, are we all done?

- (GAVEL) - Did it make £80?

- Doubling your money.

- Did it make £80?

- It did.

- £80.

VO: Well done, that girl!

£50 up!

Ah, I could get into this, you know, - this "making a profit" thing.

- That's very good.

VO: Game on!

James's checkerboard table is up next.

And bids start with me at £40.

What?!

Five, 50.

50, five.

60, on the book.

At 60.

At £60, at 60... How are you doing this?

Magic.

The master.

Are we all done?

Selling at 60... - (GAVEL) - I'll take that.

VO: Not bad.

It could have gone a lot worse.

- The trip.

- It could have been a £30 sale.

Yeah, it could have been.

But you know... - But it wasn't.

- It wasn't.

But it wasn't.

I don't know where you're coming from.

VO: She's coming from a winning position, so watch out!

It's her silver evening purse now.

A modest start at just £10, at 10.

- Oh, he's starting at 10?

- Buyer, buyer.

At £10 here in the room.

A maiden bid at £10.

- Oh my goodness.

- Is that all it'll make?

12.

15, 18, 20.

This is very nerve-racking.

It's gonna get ugly.

Standing there, 25.

28.

- Am I in profit?

I'm in profit.

- Yeah.

£30 here, bid in the room at 30, at £30.

He's looking for the internet, 30.

Double your money.

Room bid at 30... - (GAVEL) - I've doubled my money!

- Bought it for 15!

- Amazing!

VO: She's staying ahead with yet another healthy return.

- You're on a roll.

- (LAUGHS) I'm glad you're watching out for me.

Or, as they say, on a flap.

On a flap!

I can't...

I don't think I'll be getting onto Strictly any time soon.

VO: Neither will James with his wooden legs, all four of them.

It's the turn of the Chinese table.

£40, at 40.

At £40, at 40.

Two, 45.

48.

How much did you pay there, 35?

You're in profit.

Five, and I'm out at 65.

At 65.

- I just want to double, Izzie.

- It has, almost.

- No, it's 70.

- Oh.

£65... - (GAVEL) - Yes.

That's good!

There we are.

That's... That's... - Almost double.

- Almost double.

A good return on a very James piece.

I don't know what's happening.

- You are on a winning streak.

- I am on a roll.

Maybe, but it's Izzie who's in the lead.

Her glass salt cellars are under the hammer now.

- Who'll start me at £10?

- I will.

Can I bid, on my...?

£10.

At 10?

At £10, thank you.

At £10... - You've got a bid.

- Have I got a bid?

At £10, at 10.

At £10.

- A maiden bid at £10.

- No, need some more.

Standing here at 12.

At £12 here.

12, OK. At £12.

You're all out online at £12.

All done?

At 12... (GAVEL) James, that was a disaster.

VO: Well, it's a bit of a setback.

I really thought they might make a bit of money.

Oh, so did I. VO: Time to see how James's rulers measure up now.

£20, at 20.

You're all out for the room.

£20.

22, thank you.

- What did you pay?

- I don't know.

- Are we in profit or not?

- I don't... - (LAUGHS) - Excuse me.

Of course we are.

Oh.

Oh yeah, I forgot you were the last of the big spenders.

- Selling at 25... - (GAVEL) I don't know whether to be excited, cos I don't know how much profit you've made.

VO: £8.

But he's still trailing you by over 30.

That's good.

That's a profit.

It's good, yeah.

VO: Boiling up now is Izzie's volcanic lava and super costly brooch.

- £12 to start, then.

- Oh my God!

(JAMES CHUCKLES) £12?

£12 online.

At £12.

- (SIGHS) - That's alright.

- No, it's not.

- It's not.

Invaluable at 15.

At £15, 18.

18.

Do I see 20?

This is Victorian, and this is - the lava from Vesuvius!

- Lava.

Fair warning, at £18... - Oh my goodness me.

- £18.

I think I want to cry.

(VO SOBS) Me too!

That's set her back.

So what... What made you pay £70 for that?

Stop it!

(LAUGHS) Don't rub salt in a wound.

From the most expensive item to the cheapest.

Can James's £2 Doulton flask make him any money?

£8 please.

At eight.

£10, within valuable.

Thank you.

At £10...

I want a bidding war.

I would quite like bidding to slow down now, and stop, even.

Online at 20.

At £20.

- Any further bids?

- Bid.

22.

New place, 25.

- What?!

- 25.

It's still going.

Don't intend to stop.

25.

All done?

Looks that way.

Selling at £25... - (GAVEL) - I can live with that, Izzie.

I reckon I could as well!

(LAUGHS) VO: Ha-ha!

A big return for a small thing.

It all goes to help, you know...

Your profits!

It doesn't help me at all.

VO: Surely she can claw something back now with her arts-and-crafts chair.

25.

Low start, 25.

28, 30.

32, 35.

38, 40.

42, 45.

48, 50.

Five, 60.

- Five, 70.

- Well done.

I'm happy now.

(LAUGHS) Five.

Thank you, at 75.

In at the death and selling... - (GAVEL) - Ah... - Oh well, it's still a profit.

- That's jolly good.

Chairs are maybe my thing.

I think you should stick to chairs, Izzie.

Stick to chairs?

VO: A goodly sum but not enough, I fear.

- Maybe... - You could carry me.

I could be on - one of those sedan chairs.

- Sedan chair.

And you could carry me around everywhere.

Yeah, I suppose I could.

VO: That would be strange.

Last up is James's Victorian duck paper clip.

We start, then, at 45.

- (GASPS) - 50, five.

My bid, 55.

£55.

- That's good.

- 60, five.

65?

What?

With me at 65.

70, five.

80, five.

- 90.

- No!

More to go.

It'd be lovely if it got to three figures.

No, it wouldn't!

(LAUGHS) At 95.

100.

- No.

- 100.

£100.

Between the internet bidders, at 100.

Well done, James.

All out in the room?

Last chance.

At £100.

- 110.

- (GASPS) 110!

Keep going.

(LAUGHS) Any further bids from the floor?

130.

Well, I knew I had good taste liking it.

- 130.

- 130?

140.

140.

Keep going, keep going.

£140 bid.

At £140.

Fair warning.

Last chance then.

Don't get ugly on me, Izzie.

- Don't!

- I'm not!

This is incredible!

(GAVEL) Well done!

Thank you.

Thank you.

That was amazing!

VO: Yes, it's a winner.

And it's still looking at me.

Quack-quack, yourself.

Ha-ha!

Drinks on you.

I know, drinks are on me.

- And lunch.

- Yeah.

Hot chocolate.

Pork pie!

VO: Time to weigh our own porkers.

Izzie was on a winning streak, but that brooch cost her dearly and after saleroom charges, her piggy loses some pennies and now contains £183.42.

James was slow and steady until that duck completely tipped the scales.

After saleroom fees, he made a profit and now has £343.56 in his piggy, which means he wins first prize!

What a lovely place.

- It's beautiful, isn't it?

- It is a lovely place.

Anyway, to the east we go.

Let's go!

VO: On the next Antiques Road Trip, Izzie finds her bandy legs... (THEY CHUCKLE) ..and James drops a clanger.

- Oh dear.

- Clanger in the making!

Absolutely.

Who's offering sound advice?

Sometimes I want a little James in my pocket that I can get out.

And will it be tears before bedtime?

- You cannot keep blaming me!

- (LAUGHS) subtitling@stv.tv