Weekly Essay | Tane Danger

>> IT'S St. PATRICK'S DAY.

A STORY OF A FIFTH CENTURY CHRISTIAN MISSIONARY THAT DROVE ALL THE SNAKES IN IRELAND INTO THE SATISFY.

BUT THAT ACTUAL HISTORY OF THIS HOLIDAY IS ALMOST ENTIRELY OVERSHADOWED.

I WANTED TO USE MY TIME TONIGHT TO HELP RECTIFY THAT.

I WANTED TO CHALLENGE THE ACCEPTED STORY OF St. PATRICK'S DAY.

I WANTED TO LIFT UP A VOICE THAT HAS BEEN LEFT OUT OF THIS NARRATIVE FOR FAR TOO LONG, BECAUSE, REALLY, THIS ISN'T OUR STORY.

IT'S THEIRS.

SO PLEASE HELP ME IN WELCOMING A SPECIAL GUEST TONIGHT, CARL, A BOA CONSTRICTOR FROM THE MAPLEWOOD SNAKE DISCOVERY CENTER.

CARL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

NOW, IN THE HUMAN-CENTRIC VERSION OF THIS STORY, IT'S IMPORTANT TO NOTE, EVEN THERE, SNAKES WERE IN IRELAND BEFORE St. PATRICK, ISN'T THAT CORRECT?

[SILENCE] >> YEAH, I KNOW.

AND, YET, THAT'S NOT THE STORY THAT WE TELL NOW.

AND THEN St. PATRICK DROVE YOU AND YOUR KIND INTO THE OCEAN.

HOW DO SNAKES FEEL ABOUT THE OCEAN?

[SILENCE] I'M SO SORRY.

AND I KNOW THAT THIS IS HARD BUT THE CHURCH MADE PATRICK A SAINT FOR WHAT HE DID TO YOU.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?

[SILENCE] >> I DON'T THINK YOU CAN USE WORDS LIKE THAT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION.

WELL, CARL, I WANT TO THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR OINING US TONIGHT.

I KNOW HAT THIS IS A HARD DAY FOR YOU AND SNAKES EVERYWHERE SO I'M GOING TO LEAVE WITH YOU THIS TRADITIONAL SNAKE BLESSING.

MAY THE SUN ALWAYS WARM YOUR BLOOD, MAY THE WIND ALWAYS BE BEHIND YOUR TAIL, MAY THE ROAD MEET YOUR ELLY, AND MAY MICE FILL YOUR FIELDS.

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, CARL, HAPPY ALL